You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
