he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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