I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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