Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize