Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
