Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
