wanna go halves on a baby?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
what the fuck happened to the tacos
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
