Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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