three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
