I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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