Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
