I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i may or may not be watching the land before time
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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