My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Randomize
