He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
