You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
