Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
