I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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