Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
