glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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