I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
