u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
