you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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