It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
