i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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