My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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