we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
