before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
