Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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