Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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