So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think i have two assholes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
