I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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