I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
