So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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