I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
