you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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