we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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