Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
