i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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