Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
