Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
