i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
