I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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