I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
