Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
