Hey man sorry I got all grabby
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
