A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
