My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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