Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
