It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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