I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
