Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
